I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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