So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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