why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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