Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
false alarm. still invincible.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
