"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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