Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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