I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
