so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
