capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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