the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
