His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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