i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
