When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize