She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
