Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
last night I used snow as a chaser
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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