we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Shame - the story of my life.
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