I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
So many bounce houses so little time
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
