yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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