Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
