if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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