The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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