just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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