Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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