Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
