I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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