in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
