I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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