The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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