What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
