how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
