i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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