Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
