I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
