yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
