It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
