im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Randomize
