So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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