Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
