wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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