I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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