Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
