K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
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