I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
