Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
