Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
