who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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