Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
