Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
