I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Randomize
