I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
